He doesn't need to know
by DamagesReality
Summary: Written as per the prompt on Tumblr "I love him but he doesn't need to know"


I was the soldier in my previous life and after fighting my way – defying my fate I had enough battles and should be tired of it before I finally settle in peace here, in Lucis or so I thought. However, they say the old habit die hard and I agree with that. I have ironically enlisted in the military again. Sergeant Farron of Lucis Royal Troops, that was me to everyone here in new world.

My sister always complaining to me why I still want to be a soldier after all we've been through and my only answer always was _because that has always been my job. _ I can't help it; I don't want to be helpless and losing something I cherish again. I want to make sure I am ready to do whatever it takes to protect my family, my friends and my nation. However, I never expect to fight again anytime soon here in Lucis. Everything was so peaceful and disciplined. King Regis was a really wise king. His leadership ensured the prosperous of this country. They had a good relationship with the neighbor countries. Everything was fine. But who can predict the greed and darkness in people heart? Those so called trusted friends had turn against Lucis in greed of wanting to get their hands on our last crystal and they used whatever methods necessary for success. So inevitably the war broke out, messed up this beautiful country and with the twisted news of the king and prince death, it had added up more chaos into the current fragile nation. So I have to fight again, fight to save this country, protect my family, my home, for the new king and most importantly to me – for Noctis.

Prince Noctis, I met him occasionally while on duty. We talked sometime, thought initially it was never anything much but we did talk. I still remember how awkward he was in our first meeting. I could tell he was surprise to see a girl as a high rank soldier for the first time. Well, I guess it can't be helped when men were always dominated in this society but I was there for real and the prince's reaction was kinda amusing. I also could tell he was a shy person who masked his shyness with cool demeanor. I usually caught him off guard with my bluntness mostly when his 3 dork friends around. All the awkward character aside, I've always admired the prince. He's wise just like his father, honest, determine, independent and very responsible in serious situation. He has every quality to be a great king for this kingdom.

Through daily little interaction, I couldn't believe my little admiration has developed to be something more which I initially couldn't put my finger on it. The prince and I had become friend close enough to talk causally, close enough for me to see how beautiful person he was. He could be goofy, funny and awkward but no matter how he acts it couldn't conceal the warm aura that keep emitting wherever he goes and drawn people to him. Since then I couldn't understand myself sometime, why I felt so content when our eyes contact and when he smile at me. Sometime, even I just saw a glimpse of him from behind I felt so fluster and weird. Or sometime I felt so happy just to lay my eyes on him even for a brief moment. _Why?_ I used to keep searching for all the reason behind those confuses feeling but I found nothing until my best friend, Fang caught me looking at the prince one day.

_"You like him."_

_"What?!"_

_"Sunshine, you like the prince!"_

_"Yeah, I like him. Why? I have no reason to hate him." I said obliviously._

_"Idiot, I don't mean that. I mean you interested in him as a girl." _

_"Huh?"_

_"I mean you're in love." Fang said with a long sight."_

And yeah, at that moment the pieces had come together. I have found the answer that I've been searching for and no matter how much I want to deny it, I couldn't. It was the fact: I am in love with Noctis Lucis Caelum, prince of the Kingdom. It was always inside my head since I realize it and I tried so hard to act normal in front of the oblivious prince. I was a stoic soldier who can be ruthless and blunt in the battle but I am still a human, a woman. It's already hard enough when you in love with the last person you suppose to and it far worst when you see that person hanging around with another girl. The prince had been really close with his childhood friend of the same social class, Princess Stella of Tenabrea. It was never a problem for me until I came to know my feeling about the prince and since the conflict started, we hardly ever met like before due to the missions and duties and I can't help but feel sad about it. Even though I am always good at keep the blank expression on my face, it had never fail get busted by Fang no matter how perfect I act.

_"I know you sad. You miss him."_

_"So what? It doesn't matter." I said in an uninterested tone._

_"You know what, you should tell him. Just let it out you'll feel better."_

_"It's not necessary. He doesn't need to know." I ended the conversation there._

_I love him but he doesn't need to know._ Was it right? That question surprisingly popped up a lot inside my head. Usually when I made up my mind there no questioning it, so why this case was different? It not like it would make any different if I told him. We wouldn't go out just because I say love him. There no way he could return my feeling. So why am I questioning myself? Why am I so doubtful? _We were just friend and he's a prince of all people that happened to be a friendly one at least to me and those feeling would be gone in time eventually, so let it be._

* * *

This was war. The battle to claim back the last crystal, the only crystal remained on this planet, the crystal of Lucis Kingdom. The prince – no the new king of Lucis, Noctis Lucis Caelum was fighting to get back what belong to him, his country and at the same time revenge for his late father. Many people had die in this clash, soldier, civilians – innocent or evil so be it – they were the expense for the war and it must be spent whether you like it or not. Crumbles of building scattered across the street. The sound of gunshot, explosion, blade clashed and magic spells of the countless fights between Niflheim's army and Lucian Troops Resistant echoed around Insomnia, each side was trying to get an upper hand on one another. For Lucian Troops, it was to make way for the new kings—Noctis to get back into the palace and reclaim back the crystal by eliminate the traitors and the enemies who cause Lucis this suffering. For Niflheim's army was to kill the prince once and for all.

Laying there on the crumbles and in the pool of my own blood, I was staring into the gray sky of my once beautiful city which has been polluted by the smoke of the battle in the last 6 months. As much as I hate to admit it, I, Lightning Farron for once laid alone defenselessly on the battle field and dying. Life is so fragile so no matter whom you are, death always been next to you. It's just sooner or later. I am also a human, I was a soldier and this was war so it's not a surprise. I have accomplished my objective. I have helped the king in his quest to liberate the kingdom and I felt so content even though the price was my life. I was happy to help my prince, my kingdom and to be precise I have made it a little easier for the person I love in his task. _After I die, will he at least remembers me? _I was kinda afraid when I ask myself that. There so many people die, so how could he remember me who was just another soldier for this battle. _But we were friend so he should be._ That thought consoled me, at least there would a piece of my memory of me with him. _Or at least my name will be on the gravestone which he will pay the tribute to on the Remembrance Day annually._ I tried to find random thoughts to each myself from fear and I know I was being crazy but I at least really want him to remember me. Also I hate to admit that Fang was right that I should have told him that I love him. It's really sad when you take your feeling with you as a secret into your grave and it worst when it was your first love. But there no turning back now I wouldn't last any longer. I have done what I could and the country will be back to normal in no time. I'm sure. I believe Noctis will get this done. I have faith in him.

Suddenly my wounded chest started to hurt and I cough more blood smear on my already bloody face so I know my time has come. No matter how I want to stay I couldn't, I wished at least I get to say goodbye.

"I guess it's time. I'm sorry Sarah, Fang, Hope, Vanille and everyone. Please take care."

I then closed my eyes ready for death to consume me but what I saw was the image of Noctis again. I can't help but gave myself a sad smile and mumbled "I love you. I wish I could say this to you. I have faith in you that you'll be a great king." I got weaker and weaker but before succumbed to the complete darkness I faintly heard the foot step running toward me and I felt my own tear drop on my cheeks. _Guess I am not ready after all._

FIN.

* * *

Hi there guys, it's been a while hasn't it? Well, I've been so busy and yeah most importantly writer block -_-* However, I kinda back now. I have so many ideas but I couldn't write it out yet and that suck. Anyway just so you know I will more likely write more one shot but don't worry I will update my only ongoing fic whenever I can (for anybody who care of course lol) Okay, that's all for now. Wait, please let me know of what you think of my mediocre story alright. Thanks.. See ya.


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